Values Exercises

What Do You Actually Value?

Values can be slippery. I can list them logically, convincing myself I have things figured out. It's only after paying close attention to my actions that I can see where my values and actions misalign. What good is a value if it doesn't influence my actions?

On this exercise

Being able to play with a list of values and visually move them around, sit with them individually and wrestle with them has proven to be valuable. Not because I end up with a right answer but because the process provides a glimpse at my reality. Revealing there is more fluidity and nuance than concrete stability.

Here is a list of values I work from. Feel free to add the ones that make sense to you.

Please keep in mind that these exercises only carry the meaning you give them. They are not omnipotent and shouldn't be treated as such. It is just an exercise. Learn from it, and perhaps more importantly, have fun.

The values list

Authenticity · Achievement · Adventure · Authority · Autonomy · Balance · Beauty · Boldness · Compassion · Challenge · Citizenship · Community · Competency · Contribution · Creativity · Curiosity · Determination · Fairness · Faith · Fame · Friendships · Fun · Growth · Happiness · Honesty · Humor · Influence · Inner Harmony · Justice · Kindness · Knowledge · Leadership · Learning · Love · Loyalty · Meaningful Work · Openness · Optimism · Peace · Pleasure · Poise · Popularity · Recognition · Reputation · Respect · Responsibility · Security · Self-Respect · Service · Spirituality · Stability · Success · Status · Trustworthiness · Wealth · Wisdom

Value categories
Self-Direction — Self-reliance and independent thought
Stimulation — Variety, novelty, and challenge
Hedonism — Pleasure and personal gratification
Achievement — Personal success through demonstrated competence
Power — Social status and control over people and resources
Security — Safety, harmony, and stability
Conformity — Restraint of actions that might harm or upset others or the group
Tradition — Respect and commitment to cultural or religious customs
Benevolence — Preserving and enhancing the welfare of those close to you
Universalism — Understanding, appreciation, and equal treatment for all
Get the card deck

Download a printable PDF of the value cards to use in any of the exercises below.

The exercises

Exercise 1 Narrow to Your Core

Start with the full list. Eliminate until you have 20 values, then 10, then 5, then 2. Notice what you can't let go of.

Exercise 2 Sort by Domain

Organize your values into four piles: personal, professional, familial, community. Are the same values appearing in multiple areas, or are they compartmentalized?

Exercise 3 Compare with Someone Close

Order your values by importance, then ask your spouse or a close friend to do the same independently. Compare your lists. The differences are worth talking about.

Exercise 4 Trace Their Origins

For each value, ask where you adopted it. Traditions, parents, culture, society, neighborhood, friends, religion, school, nation? The point of this exercise is to see if your values are still being borrowed or if they can be fully owned.

Exercise 5 Define Your Top Two

Take your top two values and work through them in depth: What does it mean? How would you describe it? What does it look like in practice? What actions does it require? How do you enact it? How do you practice it? What role does it play in who you are?

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